Why does your child not seem to enjoy communicating?
A
prominent sign of a child who may be suffering from autism or another type of
disorder of communicating and relating is their inability to hold a
conversation like a neurotypical person can.
Special education schools have teachers and certified specialists who understand the
special needs of these children and what is going on in their heads as they
engage with the world.
The
reason why an autistic child communicates differently than a neurotypical one
lies in their preferred mode of communication. For the purpose of this blog we
will focus on the two main styles of communication which are common with
children who suffer from autism.
Instrumental
communication
Instrumental
communication is communication that you carry out with a definite right/wrong
or yes/no response in mind.
It
is communication that is instrumental in provoking a predictable or
desired response.
For
example, the question, "When will we reach school?" is an example of
instrumental communication.
Experience-sharing
communication
Experience-sharing
communication is communication that is held to not achieve any desired
objective but to simply derive from the pleasure of engaging in sharing
experiences with another individual or a group of individuals.
For
example, "Hey, it's cold today" or "I really feel that that
political party should not have won" are statements that express a
specific mental state.
Experience-sharing
communication is the act of sharing information about subjective experiences.
Children
with autism and similar disorders may not speak much unless prompted. This may be
because they cannot imagine another person as having certain thoughts, state of
mind, beliefs, opinions or intentions.
To
them, their sole reference point may be their own mind.
What
to do when dealing with children with disorders of communicating and relating?
Special education schools that cater to children with special needs understand the keys
to eliciting conversation from these kids.
There
are several such schools in NYC whose
teachers and administrative staff excel in knowing how to communicate to a
child who has trouble communicating and relating.
Being
a teacher or a parent, the following guidelines can serve you well when talking
to a child facing social challenges:
• Do not keep asking
questions.
Questions put undue pressure on the child to come up with the 'right response'.
Questions put undue pressure on the child to come up with the 'right response'.
• Model
'experience-sharing communication' by sharing your experiences with the child,
instead of bombarding them with questions in an attempt to coerce conversation.
• Talk about what's
happening in the present moment, preferably with the child.
Say
things like, "That painting on the wall seems to be interesting" or
"The song that you are humming has some really high notes."
When
you point to what the child is experiencing, you create a 'shared experience'
and increase his ability to relate.
Children
with autism cannot make out other people's state of mind.
Share
what you know or don't know and pause, in order to elicit a reaction.
There
are several schools in NYC that cater to children with special needs. In order
to know about them or for more information on how they deal with children who
require special education programs, you can visit: www.rebeccaschool.org
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